This review was written on the 29th of August

For the past three days, I’ve been the President of the United States. Or at least, whatever chunks of it are still left floating around in space. Sorry, was that too soon?

Many fans of the third person shooter “Saints Row 2” were outraged by the third game of the series, “Saints Row: The Third,” for any seriousness held in the former game was thrown out the window by the latter.

After all, “Saints Row: The Third” saw players diving out of airplanes, wrestling Luchadores, and accidentally causing a zombie outbreak.

However, the developers over at Volition obviously care not for the opinions of those fans, for “Saints Row IV” seemed to be an exercise in finding any seriousness left in “Saints Row: The Third,” and throwing that out too. Unfortunately, they accidentally tossed the majority of the series’ good content with it.

“Saints Row IV” opens with the protagonist being dropped into a unmarked desert by helicopter before running down a mountain, eliminating several terrorists in a matter of seconds, tossing a former military general into a vat of toxic chemicals, and then sprinting up a nuclear missile in flight before ripping out it’s wiring, flashing a thumbs up as it explodes harmlessly in the atmosphere, and then landing in the Oval Office, making themselves President. Poor “Saints Row 2” fans.

Unfortunately a mere five years later, Earth is invaded by an alien race known as the Zin Empire, and the protagonist is abducted, before being placed in a “Matrix”-esque simulated city, of which they must escape.

However, as ridiculous as this may sound, it actually makes a lot of sense for the series. The goal when making “Saints Row IV” was to do outdo the wackiness of “Saints Row: The Third,” and this simulated environment works perfectly because it provides a logical reason as to why the player can now have superpowers.

Yes, I said superpowers. The player can now jump over apartment buildings, sprint up skyscrapers, glide through the sky for hours, move things with their mind, and even throw fireballs, just to name a few.

These powers are easily the best part of “Saints Row IV,” with movement feeling smooth and responsive, and really adding a feeling of power to the game.

Unfortunately, the game fails to do much else right. The main storyline to play through is only about 6 hours long at best, and very little events of significance happen during that time.

The side quests, however, take almost 10-15 hours, yet all consist of the exact same tasks recycled endlessly. They are entirely skippable, but in order to access all of your superpowers and most of the game’s weaponry, you must play through all of them, which is one of the most tedious and unfun things I have done in all of my gaming career.

“Saints Row IV” also fails to resolve most of annoyances from “Saints Row: The Third,” missions still can’t be replayed, co-op is still only 2 players, many vehicles cannot be deleted from one’s garage, and accidental weapon swapping is still common.

The sound levels are also all over the place, with certain dialogue almost impossible to hear, and other weapons being extremely loud even at minimal volume. The graphics also saw no significant improvement from the previous game, and that’s a shame because they kind of needed it.

To add icing on top, the game is a technical mess, with glitches, crashes, freezing, and errors running rampant, and now a patch added to the game on the 27^th broke the majority of the game’s guns, and as of the 29^th it still has yet to be fixed.

All in all, Saints Row IV certainly has it’s funny and memorable moments, but these are drowned out by tedious side quests, lackluster main quests, and a whole list of grievances seemingly carried over from “Saints Row: The Third.” The game is certainly worth a rent for the humor, but I can’t advise spending any money on it.

Vice President Keith David has an in-game line: “I was 12 hours into Dead Island when the Zin attacked. Now I’ll never finish. I won’t forgive them for that.” Right on, Keith. Dead Island was probably a much better game.

Editor’s Note: After having played Dead Island, I can safely say it is NOT a much better game. Please go buy Saints Row IV instead if you are that desperate to throw money at something.