If I have to hear the horrid sounds of a vomiting robot again, I think I might venture into the realm of insanity. 

I have always considered myself an open minded music critic. The only genre of music that causes me to feel excruciating pain is country music, but other than that, “I’m all ears.” That is, of course, up until recently.

In 2011, I was introduced to a new genre of music that actually made me suddenly desire a loss of hearing. It is called “Dubstep.”

“Dubstep” is a fusion of car crashes, explosions, and metallic belches with the sounds of sinister asylum inmates wailing in the background. I honestly cannot fathom how or why this music was even created.

Maybe one day a guy got his heart broken by some girl, so he decided that he would create a genre of music that would make people feel the same pain that he did. Or, maybe Optimus Prime became nervous during a “Transformers” rehearsal and threw up while the camera was still rolling.

“Dude, that was totally wicked, let’s send it to Hot 99.5.”

One thing that is really irritating about this noise called music is that it seems like every single song now has a Dubstep remix. Over Christmas break, I was subjected to a Drummer Boy

Dubstep remix. It was atrocious.

My fellow students, we are faced with a serious epidemic. Authentic music is on the decline and computerized mayhem is on the rise. Back in the Dark Ages, songs featured real voices and real musicians who played real instruments, but now songs have PCs and MACs instead.

We do not have to stand for this absurdity. We must band together and “Boycott Dubstep.”

Anyway, I have a pressing dilemma right now. For the first time ever, I cannot decide which genre of music is my least favorite: country or Dubstep.

So, after some long hard thinking and researching, I have come to a conclusion. Recently, I found a Taylor Swift Dubstep remix, so it is finalized.

Dubstep country music is the worst genre of music on earth.